The Parasitic Generation

 I wish that I could do what Gibbs likes to do on NCIS

I have to restrain myself from hurtling silverware at some "kids" when I overhear what they are saying during my Saturday brunches at the local diner close to my alma mater.

You may wonder what is the cause for such desired bodily harm.  It stems from the snippets of vapid discussion that I hear routinely from members of people who are in the 14-24 age range.  Basically, the generation right behind mine.

In a single summary statement, the root of my intense displeasure is this: "I Know Everything, I Want Everything, and I Deserve Everything." That is what we've allowed for our kids today to understand, nay expect, as the normal course to live their lives by.

At some point, kids become adults (at least in the eyes of the law and the military systems). These kids enter the workforce. They become people on your teams or in some cases, your bosses.  They vote on issues that affect you.  They are now, theoritically, contributing members to a collective sociological ecosystem that everyone is a part of.

So what happens when a society turns out, year after year, a group that shouts "I Know Everything, I Want Everything, and I Deserve Everything"?

To figure out a solution, let's break down their manta into three parts:

I KNOW EVERYTHING
I adore bright people - and the world is filled with some amazing minds.  There are few polymaths within a society at any given time - and that is OK.  Instead of encouraging kids to standout in what they are good at, we've allowed mediocrity to force a machine assembly like quality to our education system.  For an interesting perspective on encouraging kids to become entrepreneurs, watch this TED talk by Cameron Herold.

These are ways that we are allowing the "I Know Everything" poison to flourish:

• Schools* that are not allowed to "fail" a student or give grades under a certain range.  
• Parents that lavish praise on their kids for doing what kids should do - homework.  
• Parents who DO the homework for the kids.  
• Authorizing books in our school that tell only one part of the story in history. 
• Not interacting with kids (of all ages) on life's lessons - especially some of the hard ones. 
• Not finding the balance between knowing what is going on now versus how did we get here in the first place. 

If the thirst for knowledge is not encouraged, we're just rubberstamping our kids through matriculation.

*Want to be clear that I am not hating on teachers - they have a thankless job that is often underfunded and under-appreciated.  Schools are shaped by parents, administrators, and government rules.

I WANT EVERYTHING
Let's take a look at some of our recent economic issues: I want a Fendi purse, I want a 7000sq ft home, I want a pimped out Bentley.  But I make $35k per year.  NO PROBLEM!  We'll extend you credit via credit cards, mortgages, and other ways.  We all know how some of that turned out.

Or a look at our Mother Nature issues: glaciers melting at an alarming rate in Antartica, greenhouse gases, city air rates off the charts in some cities - all because of the "I Want" factor.  "I Want" is often code for "I am too lazy to take that next step" - recycling, reusing, and repurposing.

Or have a look at our cultural society guideposts for kids via MTV: 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom, Teen Mom 2, Jersey Shore.  These shows feature kids with a "want everything" mentality and they get great results from it: book and endorsement deals, $280k for being a knocked-up teenager, and Dancing with the Stars gigs. It is rewarding people for bad behavior, bad decisions, and having very little to deal with in terms of real-life consequences.  If the cameras were not rolling, the "wanting everything" would get them food stamps, jail time, and unemployment.

The difference that needs to be taught and shown to kids is "I Need" - which is worlds apart from "I Want".

I DESERVE EVERYTHING
In my time as a team manager, this is one that truly gets under my skin.  Maybe it is due in part to what I was taught from an early age - that you earned stuff: you earned a grade, you earned a spot on a Varsity team, you earned a paycheck, you earned recognition in your field because of great work, you earned respect from colleagues.  Earning typically means that you worked damn hard on something - a goal, a grade, a project, etc.

However, due to "I Know Everything" and "I Want Everything", there is this massive assumption that is floating around in kids' heads that reads "I Deserve Everything".  I've had employees tell me that they deserve a promotion or a raise - and my comment would be "Describe to me how you have earned it".  I have been unemployed - and trust me, I never walked in thinking that "I deserved" consideration....I did my best to work my ass off for consideration.  The origin of the term "deserve" is "to devote oneself to the service of" - but we've lost along the way the aspect of that and deserve now means entitled.

A great book that every kid should be made to read is "Life is not fair--and everything else they forgot to teach you in school" by Bill Bernard.  They should read it at age 5, 10, 15, 18, 22, and probably for good measure, read it again at age 35.  Some lessons in life need a refresher course every so often.  I plan to read it again at 35 - and I sure wish that I had read it at those milestones I listed a lot earlier.

In my opening paragraph, I mention that I hear this mantra typically from 14-24 year olds.  The scary thing is that it is more likely 4-44 year olds.  Stopping and reversing this trend should be a priority for all of us.

So what happens when a society turns out, year after year, a group that shouts "I know everything, I want everything, and I deserve everything"?  If you still don't think that we need to reverse this trend of "I Know Everything, I Want Everything, I Deserve Everything" -  go look up the definition of "parasite".